Hanging On
by ShadowFire52
Summary: Matthew found something while moving into Alfred's apartment. What he found is what's causing him to run through the streets of New York as fast as he can to fix what he said and to hopefully make it to Alfred in time before he's too late forever.


_**Ok so here's my Valentine's Day story. Not much to say except that I was inspired to do this by a song. It took forever to think of a couple and idea for this holiday. This is more bitter sweet love so I hope ya like it. I don't own Hetalia.**_

_**-XXXX-**_

The weather wasn't all that bad that day. Clouds littered the sky and the sun shone though the air was still cold. Though people were all bundled up in layers as they browsed the shops and streets of the city. The voices of all the people seemed to become normal the longer one stays there and soon it becomes a background around people as he raced police officers and sirens.

His glasses had become blurry when they fogged up from his pants as he ran as fast as he could. The once background noise started to come to his ears and every other moment he would hear more information about where he was running. "Did you hear?" to "I can't believe it!" and "I want to see!" bubbled to his ears and he tried to block it. At the time he couldn't care less about the people and what they thought of what was going on.

"Hey! I said stop!" the closest police man yelled before getting trapped in the crowd drift of people being lead away from his destination so not to see what could become a scarring memory "You can't go there!"

"I don't care!" he yelled back as he ran. Quickly he turned into an ally that cut through most of the city.

It was dank and old and no one ever fully knew what to expect when crossing through but whatever was hiding, was the last thing on his mind as he ran. Jumping over abandoned cardboard boxes and discarded trash events started to unfold in his mind of why this was all happening. The reason he was running through one of the skyline cities of New York. The reason he had come here in the first place. Why he was racing the clock and why he was brimmed with guilt.

Memories of a Valentine's Day only a few days before started to surface in the blond's mind. Blinking his eyes he had to not let everything start flowing free and giving up. He wasn't on his own time, he was on another's that he was the only one to change the end of the clock and what would happen.

Racing through his head was the last few days and he couldn't help but let a tear slip as he mumbled under his breath "I'm sorry that this is my fault..."

_-xxxx-_

_"Mattie! Mattie!"_

_He turned with a grin before being swept into a hug "H-Hi Al..."_

_"Do you know what today is?" Alfred asked not letting go of the other._

_Matthew thought for a moment before answering "Valentine's Day right?"_

_Releasing him Alfred pecked his cheek "Yep! Now hold on, I've got you a gift." he said and raced out of the kitchen where the Canadian was left standing in slight confusion. One minute he had been making breakfast and then next he was being squeezed then he was left standing there._

_Looking out the window he noticed two robins sitting in the nest that had been made in the tree right outside the window. All he could do was smile. Not just because of the birds (they were really cute sleeping in the nest) but just the day and who he was with. He was with Alfred, his boyfriend that he just couldn't help but love. That made the day even more special._

_Today was his first Valentine's Day together with him. Not just with Alfred actually but with someone at all. So now he was just grinning ear to ear out of sheer joy._

_Footsteps rushing down the stairs alerted him that the other blond was coming back down. "Come here!" Alfred called from the living room next to the kitchen._

_Matthew wiped off his hands onto his jeans before walking out into the other room. Stopping he took in what was there. Alfred stood there with wings strapped on around his clothes and on the coffee table next to him were all sorts of items. Red, white, and pink baskets of goods, balloons, flowers, and there was even Kumajiro with a giant red bow around his neck._

_"Happy V-Day Matt!" Alfred shouted and opened his arms in a ta-da manner._

_The older of the two just kept staring with wide unblinking eyes. Alfred's smile started to slip as he got no response whatsoever. "I went too far didn't I?" asking he let his shoulders slump but quickly he was tackled to the floor in a hug._

_"No. No you didn't...It's one of the best times of my life. I love it." Matthew answered and kissed the American._

_Once both of them broke apart they sat on the sofa behind them "Actually..." the younger started to speak as the TV shows became boring and uninteresting._

_He looked over to the young blue eyed man "Oui?"_

_Alfred paused and looked to the floor and rubbed the back of his foot with the other "I-I was wondering...I mean...we've been going out for a while now and I love you and you love me right?"_

_He nodded to answer before voicing the opinion "Yes of course!"_

_"W-Well..." a faint pink brushed along the younger's face "I was wondering...do you wanna...move in with me?"_

_There was a large long pause before Matthew hugged/latched onto the man sitting next to him while shouting "Yes yes and of course yes!" before kissing him._

_The two had traveled to the north to the Canadian's home to pack up stuff to take to the other's apartment and driven all the way back down from the calm atmosphere of the land to the busy streets of New York. Matthew had waved goodbye to his home as they drove away._

_"Mattie, I'm so happy you said that you decided to move in." Alfred said as he snuck a kiss from the other as he walked out of the apartment to get another box from his car._

_The older just blushed as he opened up his boxes and unpacked "Al sure is different..." he mumbled to himself with a smile._

_Feeling a tug on his pant leg he looked over to see his polar bear looking up and him as he dragged over a worn looking box "Look." the animal said and opened it before pulling out a VCR tape. "Kumajo! We can't go through Al's stuff like that!" Matthew protested as he picked up the bear "Now give it." he said and grabbed the tape "London Tea..." he mumbled the name that was written on the label before shaking his head._

_'I can't go through his stuff...I'm the one coming into his home...' he thought as he set down the bear and kneeled to put the tape back though the other labels . caught his eye. Giving a quick glance around he pulled out a few of the tapes "Paris In Drag...The Wurst...Crazy Bitch..." he mumbled aloud as he looked through._

_"What the hell...?" Matthew was confused at the titles. They made no sense whatsoever to him. He had never heard of any of the titles but the box was almost full._

_"Mattie! I have your hockey stuff! Where do you...want...it..."_

_The Canadian quickly turned being caught red handed "O-Oh uhm...j-just put it i-in the b-bedroom..." Matthew answered dropping the videos and standing up quickly._

_Alfred didn't moved and he face had seemed to pale a bit "Uhm where did you find that?" he asked and pointed to the box that Kumajiro was now digging through because his master had stopped._

_Matthew's face turned red "I-I didn't K-Kumjiji did..." he paused "Wh-What are those of a-anyways?"_

_The younger just walked past with the box "N-Nothing you need to worry about." he said and shoved the box away with his foot as he walked by._

_They continued to unload the car as they arranged everything around the apartment. By the time the majority of Matthew's stuff was unpacked it the clocks read around two forty three in the morning. Matthew flopped down on the queen sized bed he was now to share with Alfred._

_"You're bed's so soft." he said as he closed his eyes. He felt Alfred crawl up next to him before being wrapped up in his arms. "Your accent makes you even cuter Mattie." he said and kissed his cheek "I would try and jump you right now but I have to go and get enough food for the both of us and Kuma." Matthew blushed at the first part of the comment as he was let go._

_"Don't be too long eh?" Matthew asked and Alfred kissed his cheek again "I won't, not with you here waiting." he said and left for the store._

_The new addition to the home sat up before crawling across the bed to take the remote for the bedroom TV off the nightstand and click it on. The lights flickered in the room as Matthew dragged over the blanket that resided at the foot of the bed and wrapped it around himself. He settled on watching Family Feud._

_"What can be passed around?"_

_"A joint.*" Matthew started to laugh and the door opened up. Looking over he saw his polar bear peak in before pushing the door fully open and drag in the box from earlier._

_"K-Kumajiko! N-No! Al said i-it's nothing!" Matthew protested as the bear pushed up the box onto the bed with a "Watch one." as he climbed up after._

_Matthew shook his head as he gripped the fuzzy navy blanket but his bear tossed one of the tapes over to him "Watch."_

_He carefully picked up the tape "Paris In Drag..." he mumbled._

_'No I shouldn't...but if it's nothing he would mind...' he thought before handing the tape back over to the bear "Put it in."_

_That's what the bear had done. He had hopped off the bed and put in the tape into the low placed VCR. Though as the video started Matthew's eyes went wide as he spotted his cousin Francis sway onto the screen in a miniskirt heels and halter top through what really shocked him was when Alfred walked into the screen. He pushed stop on the remote quickly "T-Try another one..." he mumbled and the polar bear switched it with another titled Loch Ness._

_At three o' six a key was in the door and as it opened Matthew was called out to "I'm back!" a cheerful voice spoke as he went into the kitchen._

_"Alfred..."_

_Said person turned around only to see fuming cross armed Canadian "What the hell. What the hell."_

_The younger stared at him confused "Back up. What are you talking about?" Alfred asked him._

_"This! All of these!" Matthew snapped as he picked up the box from Kumajiro's paws "Even my cousins!"_

_The other's face went white "It's not what it seems! I was drunk!"_

_"That doesn't mean shit you you...you hoser!" Matthew snapped and felt tears prick his eyes "So every time you get drunk I have to keep you locked in your room then!"_

_Shaking his head Alfred put up his hands "But that's the past! You're my now!" he walked over to his boyfriend and put a hand on his cheek though it was quickly slapped away._

_Matthew stepped away "Don't touch me! Just...Just don't..." at that point hot tears were streaming down his face "You told th-them all that...that y-you loved them! I can't be-believe I-I took it for real! I d-don't love you!"_

_His eyes went wide at what was said "Th-That was back in c-collage! Mattie I lo-"_

_"DON'T!" Matthew snapped "Y-You are a m-mistake...I-I loved you...I r-really did and you t-took advantage of me. A-Alfred you...wh-whore. I don't w-want anything to d-deal with you e-ever." he went over to the front door "Goodbye. I'll be b-back for my stuff t-tomorrow." scooping up his bear he slammed the door and ran off leaving Alfred alone._

_Being awakened by his phone ringing loudly. Rubbing his red eyes he flipped open the cell phone as he pulled it off the nightstand "...H-Hello?" he mumbled._

_"Matthew lad it's me Arthur." he got from the other end in a worried tone and he just scowled as he remembered one of the videos._

_"What." he spoke coldly as he held back the tears and did his best not to let his voice waver._

_"Do you know where Alfred is?" he did his best not to retort with an 'Up your British ass' and settled with a simple "No."_

_A sigh came from the other end "He's not at his house. I went over when I got his message."_

_Slowly Matthew slowly sat up "What message?"_

_"Huh? You didn't get it...well it was him saying goodbye and that he was going to end it where it started."_

_He let it set in before he felt the color running as it faded from his face and his mouth gaped as he tried to speak but nothing was coming. "Lad? Are you still there?" he just dropped the phone not bothering to shut it and was glad he didn't change when he got home as he ran out. He lost control of his movements as his body knew where to run._

_But he was racing the clock with everything he had._

_-xxxx-_

"Stop!" the uniformed ones chasing him yelled.

_'They can chase all they want but they won't catch me...'_ Matthew though as he rubbed his eyes and just ran faster.

The sounds of muffed gasps and worried mutters began to come clear as he reach the large crowd that was around one of the buildings that made up the skyline that was New York. Matthew shoved people out of the way as he ran for the door.

Entering the building he sprinted right for the stairs. Flight after flight after flight he ran with only one thing going through his head. He had to get up there no matter what.

Reaching his destination floor he forced open the door that lead to the outside. The wind blew his hair as he looked out. _'Where is he?'_ he thought as he stepped out but left the door open. From the area outside the door he looked more before he found him.

"Alfred!" he shouted over the wind.

Looking over the man that was called to looked over, his blue eyes now clouded with red puffy skin around them "Matthew..." he mumbled as he changed his footing on the small ledge.

"H-Hold on!" Matthew called as he held out his hands before clambering over the metal bars and stepping onto the ledge. He released the bars he pushed against his body against the cold building.

"Go back..." Alfred shouted with a wavering voice "You'll be safe."

The Canadian shook his head as he held onto the spots that had chinking in the sides "Not without you." he answered back.

Slowly he moved in the direction of the blue eyed blond. He went by inches "Just st-stay there..."

"Matthew...You said it yourself...I'm a mistake..." he said and his head was dipped down "G-Go home and just...go to sl-sleep..." Matthew noticed something and felt a pain in his chest because of it. Sliding right next to Alfred he did his best not to look down as he remembered that he was afraid of heights.

He moved up right next to the other "Al...please d-don't cry..." he spoke calmly as he kept his eyes on the sky now.

"G-Go home...I just...c-can't live without you so please just let m-me go alone..." he pleaded but didn't look up.

The older looked away from the sky to the man beside him taking a deep breath of the cold air "I-I didn't mean it...I w-was thinking with my h-head."

Alfred looked over as stared at him with water filled blue eyes that just read pain "How...How do I-I know that you're not n-now..." he asked.

"Because I'm st-standing on this ledge with you t-trying not to let you g-go over the edge..." he had never seen the man so broken and torn in the whole time they had known each other and that had been a very long time. Letting his hand slide he curled his fingers around the other's hand.

Shaking his head slowly Alfred tried to pull his hand away "Why Matthew...Why?"

The Canadian tightened his grip around the cold fingers of the others hand as his own skin started to feel the effects of the air and wall "Because...If you go I go."

The sound of the wind was the only sound between them before Alfred broke the silence "No...I'm disgusting...All the stuff I've done-" he was about to continue when his foot moved just enough to catch on a frozen patch of the ledge. He lost his balance and tripped over the edge.

Clenching his eyes shut he saw his life flash as his heart raced. There was nothing under his feet and he heard the gasps of everyone gathered below. He felt hopeless and decided to wait for the pain and crush of his bones. He waited. And waited. And waited. But nothing came. He cracked open an eye to see Mathew gripping onto his hand and wrist with all of his strength.

"Al...I'm not l-letting you fall..." he said with clenched teeth. He had balanced his weight to where was kneeling on one knee on the ledge as he tightened his grip. With a grunt he started to pull the other's body "Don't...g-give up..."

Blue eyes widened and watched him. Nodding he lifted up his dangling arm to the ledge and gripped it tightly "I'm going to pull on three." Matthew instructed "One...two...three."

At that the Canadian pulled with all of the strength he had. _'I have to get him up. I have to.'_ he thought "H-Help..." he mumbled and that's what he got. The younger got a better grip and started to try and pull himself up the best he could to help.

Matthew's muscles were starting to burn from the strain that was being put on them. His arms were going to give out soon and he knew it. He was strong but he had never done anything like this. Almost all of the other's weight was being held up by him over the edge of a skyscraper. Though he started to doubt himself as the burning spread "A-Al...my arms..." he mumbled desperately to the other.

"Don't...Don't give in...Please Mattie..." Alfred asked as he started to feel the strain in his own arms as he dangled "I'm sorry for what I've done, I'm sorry I just blamed it on being drunk, I'm sorry I'm sorry! Please! I really do love you! Not just like those videos. Those aren't even real I love yous. But I really truly love you!" as he spoke he continued to try and pull himself up.

That was all the older needed to get that last bit of strength needed to get him about halfway onto the ledge "M-Mathew..." Alfred mumbled as he used the last bit of strength to stay on the ledge before blacking out.

Matthew sat on the bumper of the ambulance as he waited. He had been talked to by the police and the situation had been explained to where he wouldn't have any problems. Now he was just waiting for Alfred to wake up. He hadn't yet and Matthew was starting to be worried.

_'He said he loved me...that he meant it...'_ he thought as he started to swing his legs _'He was going to jump...he was going to kill himself...it's because of me. I came to get him so maybe...'_ he was pulled from his thoughts by one of the ambulance drivers.

"Your friend's awake." he said and got a nod in response as Matthew stood up and took a breath. Slowly he walked over to the stretcher where Alfred was now sitting up with a blanket over his lap and legs and he was hunched over and his hands were folded.

He took one more breath before calling out a shaken "A-Alfred?"

The younger blond looked over and as Matthew walked up "I'm sorry..." he mumbled but before he could continue to speak the violet eyed blond just gripped the other's chin before bringing their lips together.

Pulling apart he placed his forehead against Alfred's "I love you Al so shut up. You may be a mistake, but you're my mistake."

Sliding his arms around the other's waist he looked up with a smile "Mattie, are you still moving out?" Matthew shook his head "Good." it was quiet as Alfred slid his legs off the stretcher "Matt?"

"Yes?" the Canadian responded and raised an eyebrow as he smiled.

Alfred laced his fingers with the others "Can we go home?"

Pulling the other to his feet they started to walk "_Oui_. Maybe layer we can throw out those old videos..." Alfred opened his mouth but was interrupted "...and make our own." The younger blushed as he quickened his pace.

"C'mon!"

"Slow down Al! I'm not going anywhere!"

_**-XXXX-**_

_***I heard that that's what was actually said on Family Feud an I started laughing.**_

_**So that's it. Can anyone guess the song and artist of the song I got the inspiration from?**_

_**This took much longer than expected and Valentine's day crept up on me and before I knew it, it was tomorrow so I cranked this out is a day. I hope it's liked.**_

_**Happy Valentine's Day!**_

_**Please Review!**_

_**clicky!**_


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